Masculinity is often described as a composite of strength of body and will, courage, determination and vigor. A man is hardwired to defend and protect others in his life. He is born with a heart that is capable of transforming the strength of his body into a strong and gentle care for his wife that models Christ’s love for the church.

This is a man’s essential nature. In order for him to be true to it, a husband’s care for his wife must consist of putting her needs before his. His care for her must not only concern her bodily needs but also the needs of her heart. And so, a man must be willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of his wife’s physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

This depth of care and responsibility is not possible without intimacy, an intimacy that begins with a man entering into the mystery of his wife, her heart, her mind and her body and understanding the intricacies and delicacies of all three.

In this mystery he will find the essence of her femininity, one that transcends her physical expression of it. He will discover the unique gift of his wife to welcome others into her life and to love and nurture them. This is a woman’s essential nature.

A man’s respect for his wife begins with respecting her essential nature to love and to transform her husband’s love for her into new life. Thus, a man respects his wife when he respects her ability to be a mother and does nothing to denigrate who she is and her inherent nature.

In a most profound way, a man’s love, care and protection for his wife and his willingness to sacrifice himself for the sake of her physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing is put into action in a couple’s family planning decisions.

The decision to avoid childbirth calls on a man to be an equal participant in this endeavor. It calls on him to master his desire for her and sacrifice his needs when sexual activity can lead to conception.

It calls on him to act justly toward his wife by realizing that avoiding childbirth is not only her responsibility. It is his as well.

Most importantly, in order for a man to nourish and cherish his wife’s body he must desire the proper functioning of her reproductive system. Unfortunately today, most methods of fertility regulation interrupt the proper functioning and physical integrity of a woman’s body.

Natural Family Planning allows a man to intimately know his wife’s body and how her reproductive system works. It allows him to appreciate its delicacy and intricacy.

In order for Natural Family Planning to work, a man’s participation in this process is absolutely essential. It gives him a vital opportunity to act toward his wife in a way that is authentic to his essential nature and to act justly toward her

Steven Bozza
Director, Office for Life and Family
Archdiocese of Philadelphia